Dear Friends and those concerned,
I am okay… Honest… This post here is just to settle your worries and concerns…
Thanks for all your concerns.. I am thankful to have you as my friends..
~Hugs~
Amanda
P.S : Meanwhile enjoy these videos (in memory of the late Michael Jackson)
I have decided to break away from my absence from this blog to say this.. STOP ASKING!!!
Everything is written in both our blogs pretty clear…
Thanks to all who show both me and him concern.. and thanks for the comments… But please stop asking.. thanks
Goodbye…
I already knew how he would feel before I read his blog.. Seriously till now, I wish I was already dead, just dead by my own hands… I feel secure with him but to a certain extent because I do not see myself as the one for him anymore.. everytime we go out, he would say this that, say that this girl did wat for her bf in LFI etc, but I can’t do anything…
The msg he sent me that fateful morning was the main reason I felt suicidial because that is when I realise that after so many years he felt that he was with me because he did not want me to do all those things.. My heart hurt even more now.. I wished I had really slit my wrists that day, really ran in front of a car and get knocked down.. I so need him but also by my own hand I driven him away.. back to the msg, when I went to his house he did not realise just how much that msg hurt me, dismissing it with a few words… Never before I felt like this.. I felt so betrayed just when he send Adeline the msg of why he doubt if he love me back in SRJC..
Jensen if you are reading this, I can tell you that I will fail your 10 things.. I have decided to give up on my life, my future because you would never come back to me ever. I am sorry, I worked up 2 days to be determined but I now feel defeated.. I guess this is fate of God that let you have that dream and let me have mine… I wish you all the best for your future, and make you find your matching glove soon.. Take care and I love you…
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I have decided to go ahead with my life, no matter how bad it might seem.. I have decided to go through every obstacle I have to encounter. Losing you is the worst I have to endure and to live through it is practically asking me to cut off a piece of myself each living minute. The pain is hard, the pain is insufferable.. But no matter how slim the chances are… I will take the chance… I know that from that day, I have smeared any chances of us getting back together again. If that one day we ever meet and you ever found someone worthy of your love, I wish you all the best.. I for one, will never understand or know because, I will forever doubt myself and doubt that I have everything that someone could love…
TO those who read both our blogs, I can tell you that I am stupid and irrational. Judge me for all you want, but do not do so upon Jensen.. He is the best guy any girl can even dream off.. He does not scold, does not lay a hand on anyone, he makes you laugh and smile when you are feeling down (though I am a monster he still loves me despite me doubting him cause of myself)…
I will not blog here anymore, till I have re-discover myself, till I can safely come back to say that I won’t ever do all those above again..
BUSY BUSY BUSY!! everyday go home, working, labbing and all the nonsense.. 
No updates cause just way too much things to do.. Spotted a headache yesterday.. totally going NUTS..
Results have been released this morning, and what I got were expected but disappointing.. I don’t know exactly what I am feeling but I know that it is affecting my mood right now as I am doing my lab preparations.. Already screwed up the preparations of casting 2 gels.. and there is till another half of the day to go in the lab and I really need to get my act together really fast.
Anyways, lab projects are out, but HL and I haven’t made any decision on who wants to do what.. Now I just need to get past today and find my focus and determination to work harder for the upcoming semesters starting with this BS901..
I need comfort in all different forms.. hugs, food, shopping, money, etc..
Lab is doing well for the first 2 days of week 2… Helped out in Western Blotting, Co-immunoprecipitation and also did development of the blot..
Today, I had my fair share of work, helping out H.H in certain protocols and I managed to get my hands on some cells and passage them!! =) My first experience working in the Class II cabinet, and I can tell you that while the supervisors seem to do it with ease, it is NOT AT EASE for me in any sense. =,=
But at least I managed to practise once..
Not sure what tomorrow will bring, but I know there is a high chance that the projects would be allocated to me and H.L.
This blog seems to be getting abit stale. Been so busy the entire week doing absolutely nothing at all. Even though I had lab research to do, I was just standing around and just watching and observing the protocol. And about 3-quarters of the time I was in school, I was just slacking and walking about school grounds just trying to spend time.
What can be more worse than just sitting around and doing nothing for a whole 7hours straight? haix.. I just hope the projects come out soon so that me and HuiLing would have something to do. Or at least let us practise some lab skills also can… X,X
The mystery identity of the mystery blog is solved.. But by request of my friend, I have decided to let it remain a mystery to all. =P (sorry peeps)
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Anyways, you all know how Facebook lets you create quizzes based on how well you might know them? I am sad to say that I am not even close to having any answers right.. First of all I ignored my intuition about the people involved, and just go with logic. Each time I answer a question, I would just look at it again and just change the initial answer. Gawd…
I should perhaps always believe in my intuition… Look where it got me each time I ignored it… Manx…
There is like at least 3 incidents that I so vividly remember that happened because I ignored my gut feeling, and each time it landed me into serious trouble.. So perhaps I should listen to my Gut more often.. >.<
And sorry to those whom I failed your quizzes.. =,=
Starring Johnny Depp and Christain Bale.. *swoons**
Click on the poster to go to the Site of movie.. 2 gorgeous men, Guns and just absolute suave-ness…
For once Johnny Depp is clean without his beard or gothic makeup!
Hi friends out there, would you be so kind to tell me the blog owner of this URL??
http://lourstoryl.blogspot.com/
Cause apparently I seem to be receiving quite a number of blog hits originating from this site… Am just curious to know though.. if it’s no one… it is okay
I am freakishly bored! Bored and hot! Today the weather felt like it would rain soon, yet not a single drop of rain!!
Am so bored that I just cannot seem to work my mind to come up with new designs. I know there is something somewhere in my brain and I know I have that design I want to make but I just cannot do it! Maybe I need a time a slack before I can work my magic. =)
I need to go jewelry-supply shopping again or rather just go and see what I can make as I walk along the super inspirational streets of Singapore. (no pun or sarcasism here okay?) I think I would make this season’s collection theme SUMMER.. Ahh.. genius.. (now here is the sarcasism). =D
Photography, Lab Research, Sparky’s Operation, Revamp of room.. Jewelry designing/research, to finish my 2 books by Jane Austen (Pride&Prejudice + Emma)..
3 months holidays! =)
YES! I just hope to NEVER see you again!! Stay away from me before I obtain a restraing order against you, Exams!
