Sparky – Special Pal Always Ready to Kiss You.
My best friend, my sister, my everything. Her going has made me feel lost and full of pain, as if all hope has been sucked right outta me. She was the one who listens to me when I had troubles, she was the one who comforted me when I was ill or sad, She was the one who brought me smiles when I was down and lonely. She was everything and more a dog can be to a person. She was practically human. She was family.
Seeing her suffer from Lymphoma for the past 4 months was really hard. Even more she had lymphoma, she was diagnosed with Breast cancer, which came again after her first surgery. I guess God is jealous at the life she had and wanted to take her away. Sparky was smart, was really a 1 in a million dog to have. Just weeks after her 2nd breast tumour removal surgery, she developed lumps in her lymph nodes. At that point of time, it was very obvious that making her to go through the surgery and chemotherapy against the cancer was just too painful. So I decided against treatment…
Usually a dog diagnosed with lymphoma has 4-6 weeks to live, but Sparky was exception. She battled the cancer as hard as she could, bringing us happiness even in times of her pain. She lived for another 4 months at least… She was fiesty and full of energy – playing and roughing it out with Cody. People who seen her during this time would know what I mean. But as the disease started taking its toll on her, she started losing a lot of weight, she started being more sleepy and less active. Yet she never fails to worry us, with her increasing appetite for food, and her alertness to the strangers coming and going. Even on her death day, she still eats, still alert, still cares for all of us.
During her life, she seemed to be able to sense who will make us (any of us in the family) upset, and some part of me feel that she did what she could to make those people feel unwelcome in our home. Even at the time of passing, she could not bear to let us witness her going. It was heartbreaking to know that she did not wait, but I guess it would be even more painful to see her going. She is really a caring dog through and through.
I remember that when I wanted her, it was based on impulse, not bothering to check out how to take care of a dog nor where should I get one. Instead I pestered my parents to just go down to a pet store and from then on I fell in love with her. The first meeting was Love at first sight, she slept in my arms in the pet shop while we picked out her things to bring home. First time home, she sprawled out on the floor and just lied there to sleep, just as how she left us.
It is hard, very hard to accept this reality. I so wished that I could turn back time, but nothing like that can ever happen. Losing her is like losing a part of myself, and a big part of me wants to go with her. I know I cannot think that way but that was how I felt. Waking up just now, I half expected to see her walking past my room door and wagging her cute tail. But nope, nothing of that sort.
Feeding Cody just now, I told Cody to leave some for Sparky, and Cody stopped eating, sat one side as if waiting for Sparky to walk through the kitchen door. I guess Cody also missed Sparky.
At least now, Sparky is no longer in pain, no longer having to battle the demons of cancer, no longer have to be tired and struggling. Even as she fights for the last breath, she knows that she is loved by all of us, and that her not waiting for us to come home, was a sign of her love to us.
Cody might have to suffer for a few more weeks as I still can’t feed her and play with her without thinking of Sparky.
Cody will be the last one…. No more dogs after her…
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Sparky, you were everything to all of us. You will always be loved.
In loving Memory of Sparky (12 Feb 02 – 15 Jan 10)
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